Keep That Plastic Farm Animal Away From The Children

Does anyone remember Chicken Limbo?

"Chicken Limbo's the one! Big fun! Chicken Limbo!"

That jingle rebuilt itself in my mind and keeps running like a GOTO statement.

I never had Chicken Limbo. I was a tall and fat kid - neither condition was optimal for bending over backwards and walking. In fact, I don't think I ever even saw Chicken Limbo in real life.

First hit when I Googled Chicken Limbo: Chicken Limbo Party Games Recalled

Damn, it really looks like that little girl is trying desperately to avoid giving oral sex to that smug, flightless bird. I hope she keeps her mouth-ginity intact until she grows up and meets a nice boy or a particularly thoughtful biker-dyke.

For all the damage this game has done to small children, what I'm really pissed about is the psychological damage it's done to me. They stopped selling the blasted thing in January 2006 and the jingle is permanently lodged in my brain, taking up valuable space I could have used! You know, for trig. Or more likely, super-hero trivia.

Damn you, Milton Bradley. Damn you straight to a bent-back, avian-fellacious Hell.